My recent 46th birthday has reminded me why I started this blog. On my mind today, articles from Slate/Double XX:

Emily Bracken complains about being in her 30s

and,
Laura Helmuth says we shouldn't care at all

Why do I care? I fear losing relevance.

Because this culture values beauty, and equates it with youth. I don't have financial capital of my own. I don't have a powerful job or political influence. If I don't have so-called "romantic capital," I'm not sure what I do have, and I fear becoming culturally invisible.

Do I really believe this will happen? Not most of the time. I still believe style and social skills are damn near the same as beauty. And I'm not old enough yet to give up on achieving some of those other means of power--which, I realize, have been designated by a male-dominated, money-led, Western culture. It would be better for me not to care, and to work towards bringing forward some other ways of feeling engaged and relevant. I'm not too old to do that, either.

But do I stand in front of the mirror more than I used to, cursing the changes in my face and hoping I am not fading rapidly into invisiblity, becoming a person who may as well expect to be treated with disrespect? Yes. I do.

"How beautiful the leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days." ~ John Burroughs

Link from Jezebel

Why do some women think that life is over by 44?

(Apparently the survey was conducted by a sanitary napkin company, if that tells you anything. Also, as if--barring hysterectomy--I'd have been lucky enough to be through with all that by my mid-40s.)

Some part of me feels that I should like the fact that people evidently find Sarah Palin, who is three years older than I, attractive enough to make "VPILF" jokes and such.

Unfortunately the woman's views and apparent personality bother me so much that I feel all those people are in some way deranged.

It's funny 'cause it's true

Seen in comments on Shapely Prose (Friday Fluff, 8/8/08):

“Life begins at 40, because you spend your 30s fixing everything you fucked up in your 20s.”

It seems I am now of an age where a friend finds it reasonable to suggest I could be traded in for a younger version.

I attest that 1) anyone who truly cares for me cares for me and who I am, what I bring to the table, not what I signify or what I do for someone else's ego. And 2) anyone who doesn't think I've got far more to contribute now than I did in my younger days is not paying attention.

Of course, once thing that's changed over the years is that I'm even less likely* to take crap from anyone, and I suspect many women find this to be true of themselves. I can see this might be problematic for those with lot of crap to give. No regrets on this front.

*A college professor told my parents at graduation that I did not suffer fools gladly, and this would always be a problem for me. True, and nothing I have ever wanted to change.

Progress, of a sort

Seen during NBC Nightly News (which I was watching because Brian Williams was funny on NPR's "Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me"): A commercial for a haircolor product for men that promises to "leave some of the gray in." Whaddaya know.

Of course it was followed by a "firming and lifting" cream for women, so it seems the double standard is still in force. But I guess we have to start somewhere.

(There were some cute gray-haired men in the ad, by the way, so it's worth watching at least once.)