When I was much younger, I took comfort in the idea that aging would be normalized by Baby Boomers, who would provide positive examples for me and change the focus on youth culture.

What I see instead (quite literally: on TV, in movies, in the inescapable deluge of advertising everywhere around me) is women who are not accepting and promoting natural aging, but availing themselves of an ever-growing array of cosmetic procedures. I regularly contemplate whether there is a public role model anywhere for me of a woman who isn't giving into that pressure. Politics, maybe, but the lacquered, hairsprayed culture there doesn't appeal.

And if I were a public face, would l do the same? If I had money not earmarked for another purpose without the attendant guilt of using it for my own vanity, if I could make a good argument that not altering my appearance so I seem younger will hurt me professionally (a real possibility, I sometimes think), if I didn't notice that particular procedures result in their subjects all looking somewhat the same...

I think I'm strong enough to hold out. But while I realize being content with my looks was not nearly as common in my past as I like to believe it was, it's hard to see the changes in my face and realize that they alone are going to cause me to be taken less seriously, will push me into a position of less relevance when I'm still struggling to feel relevant in the first place.

If I sound a little resentful, it's because I am.