Link from Jezebel

Why do some women think that life is over by 44?

(Apparently the survey was conducted by a sanitary napkin company, if that tells you anything. Also, as if--barring hysterectomy--I'd have been lucky enough to be through with all that by my mid-40s.)

Some part of me feels that I should like the fact that people evidently find Sarah Palin, who is three years older than I, attractive enough to make "VPILF" jokes and such.

Unfortunately the woman's views and apparent personality bother me so much that I feel all those people are in some way deranged.

It's funny 'cause it's true

Seen in comments on Shapely Prose (Friday Fluff, 8/8/08):

“Life begins at 40, because you spend your 30s fixing everything you fucked up in your 20s.”

It seems I am now of an age where a friend finds it reasonable to suggest I could be traded in for a younger version.

I attest that 1) anyone who truly cares for me cares for me and who I am, what I bring to the table, not what I signify or what I do for someone else's ego. And 2) anyone who doesn't think I've got far more to contribute now than I did in my younger days is not paying attention.

Of course, once thing that's changed over the years is that I'm even less likely* to take crap from anyone, and I suspect many women find this to be true of themselves. I can see this might be problematic for those with lot of crap to give. No regrets on this front.

*A college professor told my parents at graduation that I did not suffer fools gladly, and this would always be a problem for me. True, and nothing I have ever wanted to change.

Progress, of a sort

Seen during NBC Nightly News (which I was watching because Brian Williams was funny on NPR's "Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me"): A commercial for a haircolor product for men that promises to "leave some of the gray in." Whaddaya know.

Of course it was followed by a "firming and lifting" cream for women, so it seems the double standard is still in force. But I guess we have to start somewhere.

(There were some cute gray-haired men in the ad, by the way, so it's worth watching at least once.)

Painfully personal? I doubt it. :-(

Ah, the "Open Source Boob Project."

I can't address it fully without including a metric tonne of links, so let this stand as a placeholder. And also as my statement that yes, I do feel objectified on a regular basis. I have a high IQ, a master's degree, a creativity that my mother and I agreed was "relentless" when I was a child, a good eye for photography and art and fashion. I live in a city (Seattle) with less emphasis on physical appearance than on physical health and experiencing the outdoor opportunities we have here in such abundance.

And yet I have picked up the notion that nothing I do, nothing I am, will ever be as important to the culture at large as how I look. And yes, that drains me of energy that I could put to more useful ends and leaves me with anxiety and feelings of competitiveness for every standard marker of attractiveness that I don't meet. And I am getting older and that's a cultural strike against me no matter how hard I deny or fight it.

It's worst when I feel like I'm failing in other areas of my life, when I feel that looks are all I have to fall back on. I suppose that even makes sense in a sad way.

I know I don't have this particular complex nearly as badly as some others do. But why should any of us have it? As observed by other feminist writers, what cost to the culture when so much intellect and drive is being funneled into something that ultimately has so little to do with how well we live and how well we treat others and how we construct a healthy society?

The Seattle Times has announced it's laying off 200 employees--another example of print media losing business while struggling to keep up with their online counterparts.

But what always bothers me about this apparent rush to put everything online is the people it leaves out. Not everyone can afford their own computer and internet access (it's true!). and even free library computers are not always accessible.

And I'm sure we all know older people who have not become comfortable with computers and still rely on newspapers for obituaries and other news items.

These people are being left behind and no one really seems to say anything about it.

A general "hmph"

Overheard at Sakura Con, from guy in his 20s trying to convince younger girls in costume to let him take their picture: "Someday when you're 42 you'll look back on these and think, 'Wow, I was hot.' "

Ahem, dude, women of the age range of which you speak are sitting next to you. And I'll bet you didn't even realize it.

(Note that he was also one of those know-it-all types, and giving bad advice on how to pose for photos. Considering the source and all that.)

It reminds me of the recent flap over the
Atlantic article about why women over a certain age who want children should settle for men who were once beneath their standards. All that aside, commentary on the matter has been edifying. Or something.

For instance, a comment from this, er, doofus:
Are all the good ones taken? Not quite. But here’s a lot of what you’re going to get as a 40-year-old woman on Match.com: Commitmentphobes. Players. Financially unstable guys. Unattractive guys. Socially awkward guys. Much younger guys. Much older guys. Look in your in-box.

All I have to say to this is, does he even know any women in their 20s? Aside from the "much younger guys" descriptor (and not even that, necessarily), every bit of that sounds like what I mostly came across in my 20s. I'm sorry, but for many of us, it really is that hard to find someone, and I don't think age is much of a factor in that.

Testing...testing

So why not start a blogging about aging as a woman in this society with someone who is aging gracefully indeed?



Dame Shirley Bassey. Not only does she have one of the most amazing voices in the recording industry, she's 71 and just released an album of rock songs. From what I've heard on NPR, it's a requirement for my CD collection.

Oh, and gorgeous? Yes. Definitely one to add to my collection of positive examples of aging.

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